Sustaining Words

I am exhausted right now. Sleep is fitful at best, and unfortunately I can't jack myself up on caffeine to counter sleepless nights. Having to go through something like losing my dad without any of the normal crutches that I would use has been a trial and a blessing all at the same time.

I keep re-reading one of my favorite poems by Mary Oliver, called Bone. It starts like this:

1.
Understand, I am always trying to figure out
what the soul is,
and where hidden,
and what shape –
and so, last week,
when I found on the beach
the ear bone
of a pilot whale that may have died
hundreds of years ago, I thought
maybe I was close
to discovering something –
for the ear bone
2.
is the portion that lasts longest
in any of us, man or whale; shaped
like a squat spoon
with a pink scoop where
once, in the lively swimmer’s head,
it joined its two sisters
in the house of hearing,
it was only
two inches long –
and thought: the soul
might be like this –
so hard, so necessary –
3.
yet almost nothing.
(http://www.panhala.net/Archive/Bone.html)

I find Mary Oliver's poems to be so beautiful and comforting in the best of times. Right now I am burying myself in her work. If I can't have wine, I can at least drown my sorrows in beautiful words.