October Weekend

We spent the weekend in a pendulum state, swinging back and forth between preparing for baby and trying our best to enjoy one of our last free weekends prior to baby.

Saturday morning Jeff went to spinning, while I attended pre-natal yoga at Blooma. The instructor used the word "luscious" a lot. "Move your luscious hips," she said. "Swing that luscious baby around," she commanded. I kept sneaking glances at her, trying to figure out if she was serious. She was.

Later, we went to IKEA. Not the brightest idea, IKEA on a Saturday. We braved the hordes and picked up shelving, baskets, and a new rug for the baby's room. We spent the rest of the day putting together furniture and rearranging rooms. It was exhausting. By the end of the day, we both needed a time-out. Putting together IKEA furniture does not tend to bring out the best in people, and we are no exception. After a dinner at Punch's and a quick trip to finish up a purchase at Pottery Barn, we were in for the evening. We had big plans for Sunday, but by Saturday night, we had scrapped them in favor of taking a day off.

Sunday morning we slept in (heavenly, and according to all accounts, something to be savored now before it disappears forever), then headed out to breakfast. After breakfast, we went on a quick walk, and then settled down in the house. Jeff turned on a football game, and I curled up on the couch with The Marriage Plot (Jeffrey Eugineides!). I adore Sunday afternoons like this, the sun puddling on the wood floors, the sound of the cat's claws, clack-clack-clack, as she moves between rooms, the yeasty smell of Jeff's beer brewing on the stove…the house feels full of life and warmth and small mercies, and I wish I could wrap the day in paper, a gift to open on a rainy day.

Eventually we made our way back out into the world, heading to the Rack Shack for barbeque. This didn't work out as planned, mainly because the Rack Shack is closed on Sundays. Disappointed but not thwarted, we ended up at Matt's for juicy lucys and french fries, and then called it a day and spent the rest of the evening watching football.

All in all, not a bad weekend. The house is pretty much ready for baby. Not sure the parents are ready for baby, but we're getting there!

Lessons from my Mother

This past weekend, my mom came to stay with me for a few days. The time was short, but the lessons? They were BIG.

I will admit that I was feeling a little anxious about seeing my mom. This was our first foray into our "new normal," as life continues ever on after the passing of my dad. I spent a lot of time wondering what the grief triggers would be, my brain spinning round and round as I tried to come up with ways to soften what was sure to be a weekend full of difficult moments. I wanted to make sure that I was paying attention to my mom and her needs without fussing over her in a way that would make her uncomfortable.

As it turns out, well, yes, the weekend had some difficult moments. After my baby shower on Sunday, I caught myself thinking "That was so beautiful! I need to call dad and tell him how it went…" and then to startle with surprise that I couldn't do this. I looked at my mom and realized she was crying, too. There were other similar moments, where we shared tears and memories and expressed our deep sadness and sense of loss to each other.

But we also spent hours deep in conversation about parenting philosophies, our shared love of literature, the joy of travel, and our search for creativity in our lives. We shopped for hours at the gorgeous baby stores that are dotted all over St Paul, we shared lovely meals in the sunshine, we laughed, we confessed weaknesses and pet peeves, and we marveled at the gorgeous fall weather.

The time spent with my mother was eye opening…listening to her speak, I was struck by how intelligent and curious and interesting she is. Of course, she has always been these things, and I've always known that she is these thiings, but something about this weekend brought this into crystal clarity for me. Her strength, her determination to find joy and purpose in life, is inspirational.

I find her fascinating, which is such an interesting way to feel about your mother.

Marathon Weekend

We spent the weekend in a flurry of activity, trying to get up to speed on baby-related activities. The nursery is almost done, if you ignore the fact that there is no crib, changing table, or glider in it. I suppose this would bother me more if I was actually planning on having Sweet Pea sleep in there any time soon, but as we plan on having her in our room for quite some time, I'm totally okay with just having the walls painted and the art work hung.

The other big baby-related change is, of course, the loss of the guest room. This forced us to give up Jeff's beloved purple couch, which is being replaced with a sleeper sofa. The couch was hauled out to the ally last night, where hopefully some college students will see it and give it a new adventure.

Sunday morning brough beautiful weather and our annual tradition of cheering on the marathon runners. We normally meet up afterwards at Bonfire for mimosas and bloody marys, but unfortunately our runner (Chad) was sick and we had to skip the celebrations and hope for better luck next year. Still, it was fun to watch everyone on the last leg of the race.




Can't wait to bring Baby Taylor next year to join in the festivities!