Daycare Angst

I occasionally (read: all the time) worry that Lily might be suffering from having two working parents, that there might be something inherently better about staying home with Mommy or Daddy when compared to daycare.  I’ve had difficulty reconciling the fact that when my maternity leave was over I practically skipped back to work, never shedding a single tear over dropping Lily at daycare, while all the other moms I know talked about how heartbroken they were to be back at work.  I’ve wondered if perhaps Lily is somehow getting shorted because of my desire to go back to work.

This morning I had an experience that changed the way I’ll think about this forever.  I brought Lily into her little daycare, and she was the first baby there for the day.  Because of this, I was able to take her into the toddler room, where she instantly became the star attraction.  Two little girls immediately gravitated toward her, talking softly to her and stroking her arms.  A little boy joined soon after, carefully patting Lily’s hair.  The daycare women moved Lily over onto the soft mat in the middle of the room, and we all stood back.  Lily was soon surrounded by four small children who were all patting her or holding her hands or combing her hair (which, good luck there kids!), and Lily was positively BEAMING, gazing up at all these children with complete adoration.

As I watched this sweet little scene unfold, it hit me.  Lily is her own person, having her own experiences, and at times those experiences have nothing to do with me, and that’s okay.  Whatever she might be missing from being home alone with Mommy all day is more than made up for through her interactions with the other children in her daycare.  She is happy and well cared for and loved, and she has lots of different experiences throughout each day, and the fact that I am not personally there for each of these experiences doesn’t take away from their intrinsic value.

I left Lily with a light heart, slightly wistful that I couldn’t linger for just a bit longer to watch her enjoy the “baby spotlight,” but also happy that she has such a wonderful place to spend her days.