Better Half

I've been contemplating the phrase "my better half" for some time now. I suffer the dual blessing/curse that comes from the fact that this phrase utterly and completely describes Jeff. It's a blessing because the man I've chosen to partner with is, in so many ways, well….I hesitate to say better, because it smacks of self-loathing, but perhaps I will go with more polished than I am. It's a curse because admitting this is obnoxious and it hurts my ego.

I was emailing back and forth with a girlfriend earlier today, and we were talking about taking baby-care classes. I mentioned that Jeff might grumble over the amount of classes that I signed us up for, and she wrote back that maybe Jeff, like her husband, would "realize he never thought not to leave a baby alone with a string and that made him realize he knows nothing and how scary that is." My only response to that was, well, no, that sounds more like something I would realize, not Jeff. I have absolutely no fears about the type of parent that Jeff will be. When faced with a stressful situation (say, a baby crying non-stop for hours), Jeff approaches the topic calmly, with the wisdom to know that eventually, this will pass, and for now, we must make do. Whereas I, when faced with the same situation, would most likely be found curled up in a corner, muttering "make it stop, make it stop." Jeff doesn’t raise his voice or freak out or suffer from low blood sugar symptoms that turn him into a raging monster from hell. He is also a better cook and is more organized than I am. He even likes little kids, whereas I just feel awkward in the presense of anyone under the age of 10 (I know, I know, it's different when it's your own kid, but who is to say I won’t be some bizarre exception?).

I'd like to think that having a child is going to bring out some inner zen-mother, wherein I morph into some graceful, even tempered creature who can tackle the most difficult child rearing tasks with a calm head and a wise heart, but I have the distinct feeling I'll be leaning on my better half even more than I do now. I hope he's up to the task. Because I'll most likely be in the corner somewhere with a twitching eye, pondering the strange ways of babies.